You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
