We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize