exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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