Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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