His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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