You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
