we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
