she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
