if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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