there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
