His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
