It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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