Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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