question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
