why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
