Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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