She's JV to your varsity
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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