i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
