Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
