he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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