Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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