Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
