Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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