you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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