Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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