I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
