He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
