I just cut my nipple shaving
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
