How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
