Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
