he wants to bone in the snuggie
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Randomize
