Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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