Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
