Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I believe in your delicious
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
