he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
