Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
