I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
