If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
