you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
