and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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