That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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