it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
