if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
