dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
