Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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