Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
