So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
