ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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