I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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