My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
