Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
